Bulletproof Soul

6.  Easy Conversation

Due to his long night monitoring the social, Kirk left the bridge exhausted after alpha shift and went to his quarters.  He left Lieutenant Campbell in charge of the bridge with strict orders not to disturb him on anything short of an emergency.  He took a shower and changed into some sweatpants and a Starfleet tee and went into his sitting room.  Spock was waiting for him.

“Where’s Nyota?”

“She diverted to Medical Bay to receive her quarterly injection.  She will be here momentarily.”

He nodded.  “Let’s wait for her.”

“Are you planning to have a meal, Jim?”

“I’m not very hungry, Spock.  I’ve got a lot to think about.”

“I would imagine so.  I do as well.”  Spock came to stand in front of him.  “Once we have discussed the outcome of your meeting with Admiral Pike, there is another matter that we must talk about.  I am unsure as to how you shall receive it, considering the current circumstances.”

“What’s it about, Spock?”

Spock closed his eyes for a moment.  “It is embarrassing for me to bring this up as Vulcans do not mention it.”  He put his head down.  “It relates to my upcoming Pon Farr.”

“Oh,” Kirk said.  “I thought we were cool with Pon Farr.”

“I do not see how, as we have never discussed it.”

“We didn’t?  I thought we did.”

“No.  You merely suggested that I would chase Nyota around the Enterprise when my Pon Farr arrives.”

“You mean you’re not?”

Spock closed his eyes again.  Kirk cupped his hand over his shoulder.  “You can talk to Nyota and me about this.  I’ve seen you naked, remember?  You don’t have to be embarrassed, Spock.  Just tell me.  Obviously, it’s important or you wouldn’t have said anything.”

Spock leaned forward and touched his forehead against Kirk’s. Understanding the action, Kirk closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Spock’s. Spock put his fingers around Kirk’s eye, cupped his neck and melded their minds.  When it was over, Kirk stepped back, coughing and shaking.  “I swear, Spock, I’ll never get used to you doing that.”

“Do you understand, Jim?”

“I understand what it is you want, but I do not understand why I cannot be a part of it.”  He wiped one hand across his forehead.  The images Spock conveyed were powerful and disturbing to an extent.

“I will be stripped of my reason, of my logic.  I will not be the man you know.  I will not be able to control myself.  I will view you as a threat, as a block between Nyota and me.  I will hurt you; I might kill you and I do not wish to do that.”

“How do you know, Spock?  You’ve never been involved in anything like this before.  How do you know that Nyota and I won’t keep you balanced during that time?  If it is like you showed me, then you could very well hurt her.  And I don’t want that.”

“I will do no such thing.  I would never hurt Nyota.”

“But you just told me that you’re robbed of your control and your reason; that the instinct to mate nearly drives you to the point of insanity...you don’t know that.  And if I believe what you just showed me, it’s practically constant for about three days.  You’re Vulcan.  How do you expect Nyota to handle three straight days of rough sex with you? Kinky as that may be.”

Spock raised his eyebrow.  “You have a remarkable ability to bring levity to any situation, Jim.”

Kirk moved to stand in front of him again. Absently, he pressed his finger against Spock’s hip, above the place where his tattoo lay.  “You have the same mark I do, Spock.  When you initiated that bonding ritual on the beach in Kalamar, I didn’t object.  I accepted Nyota and I accepted you, which meant that I accepted all her baggage and I accepted all yours. You agreed to me and mine.  This is a part of your baggage, Spock.  I’m going to be there when this goes down.”

Spock took his hand and held him by the wrist.  “I am afraid that I will view you as a threat, Jim.  I am afraid that I will have to take the appropriate action.  I do not wish to fight you.  I am coming to care for you as much as I do Nyota.  I believe that you feel the same about me.  I do not wish for my proclivities to change that.”

Kirk stretched his fingers to touch Spock’s chin.  He knew how serious this was for him; which meant it was serious for Uhura and himself.  He wanted to let his friend know that he didn’t have to endure the madness of Pon Farr alone.  “Fine,” he said.  “I’ve been warned.  You might try to fight me.  Okay.  I’ll fight you back.  You may try to kill me.  Emphasis on ‘try.’  I’ll defend myself.  Maybe a brawl will lessen the lust in your heart and make it easier for Nyota to endure you.  You do what you have to do and so will I.  But I will be there, Spock, and that will not change.  In three days, you’ll be yourself again.  I can live with that.”

Uhura entered the room.  “What’s going on?”

Kirk turned and looked at her.  “Hey.”

“Hello, Nyota,” Spock said.

She walked over to them.  “What are you two talking about?  You look so serious.”

Kirk closed his eyes.  “We were just discussing—”

“Jim, please.  We can discuss that later.  Now I am curious to discover the outcome of the meeting with Admiral Pike.” Spock brought Uhura between Kirk and himself for their customary embrace.  Uhura tilted her head back onto Spock’s shoulder and sighed as Kirk rained kisses on her throat and Spock nibbled her ear.  She could stand like this with them all day and not get tired.

“Me too,” she moaned.  “Unless I am woefully incorrect in my read of you, Jim, it didn’t go so bad at all.”

“Let’s sit down,” Kirk said, releasing her.  She removed her boots and the elastic from her hair.  Spock pulled her into his lap and Kirk began to rub her feet.

“So what happened?”

“Well, he was stunned, to say the least.  He actually told me that Starfleet regs didn’t state that it was a violation for a captain to be in love with a subordinate.”

“They do not?” Spock asked.  “I was under the impression that they specifically said it was forbidden.  Have they been updated?”

“Pike says that it’s ridiculous to expect captains not to fall in love and that Starfleet makes allowances for it.  He also said he wasn’t surprised to find out it was Nyota who captured my heart.”

“Logical,” Spock said.

“He wasn’t?” she said.

“No.  He said, ‘Who else would you fall for?  She’s gorgeous.’”

Uhura blushed.  “Then I guess you also told him about Spock.”

“Yes.  That’s when it got a little wonky.”

“Please clarify, Jim.  I do not understand the term ‘wonky.’”

“Weird.  He found it a little hard to accept your role in our relationship, Spock.  I believe it’s simply because he’s never been a recipient of your considerably charming personality.”  Kirk smiled at the commander and Uhura laughed at Spock’s expression.  They were so adorable together.

Kirk continued.  “It was a good idea to do a preemptive strike. Because we decided to tell Pike about our relationship, he told me that he would help me—help us.”

 “Fascinating,” Spock said.

“What?” Uhura said, blinking.

“Granted, he told me this off the record.  He said that our relationship might establish a precedent, but he’d have to check the regs carefully to see if that’s the case.  And if it is, he’ll defend us, as long as I’m not biased in my command.”  

“You have not been as of yet, Jim.” Spock said.

“Yeah, but he’s gonna need to hear that from the crew.”

“What?”

“Pike’s going to interview the crew to find out if they have witnessed or noticed any impropriety between us.  He’s going to make a thorough examination because when Starfleet demands their own investigation, they’re going to find it hard to refute his evidence and his claim that in spite of our relationship, the Enterprise is in very good hands. I think that is the real issue; whether my captaincy is unfavorably affected because I’m in love with you.”

“I love him,” Uhura said.  “I should have his baby.”

“Pardon?” Spock said.

“She’s just teasing, doofus,” Kirk said.  “But we may be suspended during Starfleet’s investigation.”

“Admiral Pike is a fair and just man,” Spock said.  “If he persists in an investigation, it will be methodical and complete.  He is not biased towards an unconventional relationship?”

“He told me he didn’t care who I was involved with and he didn’t see a need for me to resign.  However, it won’t be up to him to decide our fate.  That’s left up to the council.  He doesn’t know how it’s going to turn out.”

“I appreciate that he even cares enough to try and help us,” Uhura said.

“Well, he said he owed me for saving his life.  I never thought I’d have to call in that favor.”

“So I take it to understand that you do not have to turn the ship over to Mr. Scott?”

“Not right now.  Pike said he would keep me posted.  Until then, we are to investigate whatever is going on out at Altair IV.”

Uhura leaned back into Spock’s arms.  “So the crew is going to find out who wins the pool.”

“What pool?” Kirk asked.

“Dez told me that there’s a pool going on.  One hundred and forty-eight people think that I’m involved with either one of you and have placed a bet on it.”

“What?” Kirk said.  “They’re betting on us?”

“On whom I’m involved with.  You or Spock.”

“Fascinating,” Spock said again.

“You mean to tell me that there are 150 people on board this ship that have bet money on which one of us you’re sleeping with?”

“Almost 3000 credits in the pot.”

“Amazing,” Spock said.  Uhura couldn’t tell by his expression what he was thinking.

“Three thousands credits?  That’s twenty credits a pop!”

“Yeah,” Uhura said.  “Apparently, the betting started shortly before we went back to Veridian III.  Dez told me that the people who wagered don’t really care who I’m involved with, and that it was a way to pass the time while we were on that star-mapping mission.”

Spock said, “How were they able to form such a hypothesis?”

“My understanding, based on what Dez told me, is that one of the ladies in charge of the pool saw me one day with that big stupid grin on my face.  I don’t even recall the day or who might have seen me.”

“You mean the smile you have after we’ve had a very good night?” Kirk said, grinning. “I love it when you look like that.”

“I do as well,” Spock said.  “It means that we have performed up to standards.”

“For you maybe,” Kirk said.  “It means that I’ve surpassed her expectations.” 

Uhura laughed as she stroked Spock’s ear.  “Anyway, they speculated over who could make me look like that and your names came up.”

“Just ours?”

“Yes.  Apparently, they think that you two are the only men on board this ship who could get my attention.”  Uhura smiled.  “Seems that they’re right.”

“So,” Kirk said, rubbing her ankles, “did Dez tell you who was winning?”

Uhura smiled at him and sighed against Spock, who was fingering her hair.  “Team Spock and Team Kirk currently have 74 bids apiece.”

“I have a team?” Spock said.

“We’re tied?” Kirk said.

“Yes.”

“What the hell!  I should have at least had the edge!”

“You don’t.  So when this comes out to the crew, they’ll know if they won or if they lost.”

“They shall have to split the wager,” Spock said.  “Because there is no clear winner.  You are with both of us.”

“I prefer ‘no loser,’” Kirk said.

“I was upset about it at first, but now I just don’t care.”

“So there wasn’t a choice of both?  Just me or Spock?”

“Yes.”

“Then we should collect the winnings.”

“Jim, you’re impossible.”

“I mean, come on!  This is pretty damn funny when you think about it.”

“Of course, Jim, there are 430 people on this ship.  Thirty-four point four percent believes there is something going on.  That leaves sixty-five point six percent that does not believe or does not approve.  That may not bode well for Admiral Pike’s investigation.  So I do not see the humor in this.”

Uhura said, “Those were the stats Dez gave me.  They might have gone up since we talked.  I can find out if you want.”

“No,” Kirk said.  “We’ll find out when the investigation is complete.  However, it’s still funny.”

“I want to get out of this uniform,” Uhura said.  “Will you get me something to eat?  I’m going to take a quick shower.”

“What would you like?” Spock asked.

“Whatever you get is fine,” she replied.

*

She took a shower and put on a T-shirt and her panties.  Uhura looked into the mirror, gazing at her reflection while rubbing the spot on her bicep where Nurse Chapel shot her with the hypo.  Spock was better than an alarm clock; he always told her exactly when she was due for her injection.  She wasn’t about to mess around with her birth control shots.  Then she went back out and sat at the table, where Spock was arranging a meal.  Kirk was staring out of the picture window, drinking a clear beverage.

“Are you going to eat with us?” she asked.

“No, I’m not very hungry.”

“Are you going to sit with us at least?”

“Do you want me to?  I was going to lounge on the couch.”

“It would be nice, Jim.”

“As you wish.”  He sat next to her at the table.

She smiled and started tearing the French bread into chunks to dip into her soup.  Spock was introducing her to a variety of Vulcan soups and broths, and she had yet to dislike any of them.

“So,” she said, swirling the bread chunk into the dark red soup and holding it to Kirk’s lips. “What were you talking about when I came in?”

Kirk accepted the bread chunk.  “Mmn, that’s pretty good.”  He chewed and swallowed.  “You want to tell her or should I?”

Spock blinked and bit into a vegetable stalk.  He waved his hand in Kirk’s direction.  Kirk shook his head. 

“His Pon Farr is coming up.  I don’t know when.  He wants to be alone with you at that time.”

“Really?”

“He showed me what it was like.  It wasn’t romantic, but I got the gist of it.”

“Is it a bad thing?”

“No, but it can be violent.”

She looked thoughtful.  “Spock?”

“Nyota, I am uncomfortable with this line of conversation.”  He refused to look at her and concentrated on his plate. 

She reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers.  “Spock, please.  If you can’t discuss it with Jim and me, then who can you talk to?  This is us, Spock. You, me and he.  Don’t be embarrassed to tell us anything.”

Spock met her eyes, warm, brown and accepting.  He loved her more than there were words to describe it.

“It is a difficult time for any Vulcan, Nyota.  Pon Farr is an occasion where our logic is torn away and we are reduced to our primal impulses.  Our biological instinctive is magnified and we cannot control it.  We are stripped of our reason; all that matters is the need to mate.  It can be violent, yes. I cannot stop it.  I will not be the man you know.  I told Jim that I could view him as a threat and that I would attack him.  I could kill him.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Nyota.  I do not wish for our relationship to be so damaged.”

Kirk was swirling bread into Uhura’s soup and eating it. “I told him that I would be there regardless as to his mental state.”

“Could you hurt me in that condition, Spock?”

He did not respond.  Uhura squeezed his hand again.

Kirk ate another bite.  “He could, Nyota.  The images he showed me…he could hurt you.  It’s about three days of almost continuous sex.  Fucking’s probably a better word to use than sex.  I didn’t see anything warm and fuzzy about Pon Farr mating.”

“Three days?”

“You see why I need to be there.  Vulcan women are built to handle Pon Farr, but you are not, Nyota.  And we know how strong Spock is.  If he’s so horny that he’s insane, he could hurt you badly.”

Spock sighed and clenched his fingers around Uhura’s.  “I will endeavor not to hurt you, Nyota.  I do not wish to hurt Jim. I do not want to kill him.  In that state, I may very well do so, as I will view him as a block between you and me, one which I must be rid of to have you.”

“We’ve agreed to put our relationship out there for the world to see.  We’ve agreed that we’re going to be together for as long as we can be.  We’ve even put our careers on the line because of it.  Do you really think it’s logical for Jim to be absent while you’re going through this?  While you’re taking me with you as you go through this?”

“Logic has absolutely nothing to do with Pon Farr, Nyota.  It will merely be my overwhelming need to mate with you.  I concede to your logic right now, but it will not matter at that time.  The plak tow is a blood fever that can kill me if I do not mate within the prescribed time.  It is a result of the vast amounts of hormones that are dumped into my bloodstream and will disrupt my body chemistry and neuroanatomy.  Only mating or the kal-i-fee will end Pon Farr and keep me from death.”

Kirk closed his eyes as he finished eating Uhura’s soup.  She stroked Spock’s fingers.  “Spock, don’t you trust me?”

“Yes.”

 “I also trust Jim and I know you do.  Let him be present.”

“Nyota, I will not be logical, I will not be rational, I will be robbed of my sensibilities…I am fearful that I…”

Kirk stared at him. “You won’t kill me, Spock.  I’m not worried about that.  But you can’t expect Nyota to handle three nonstop days of rough sex.” 

“Rough?” she asked.

“Rougher than what you’re used to, baby,” Kirk said, reaching under the table to pinch her thigh.

“Oh,” she said.

“Especially when Spock won’t be in a…shall we say…romantic mood.”  He turned his bright blue eyes on the Vulcan.  Spock put down his spoon.

“I cannot say, Nyota.  I will need to mate with you and it can be violent.  I will endeavor above all things to protect you, but I am not myself at that time.”

“Because you repress your emotions so much that eventually they must manifest themselves in other ways.  Do you think that because you have found a mate—two, even—and we have been intimate, that the lust that drives you during your Pon Farr will be lessened?”

“I do not think so, Nyota.  I cannot say.”

She caressed his hand.  “You told me not to worry.  I’ll tell you the same.  Don’t worry.  Let Jim be there with us.  It is not fair to leave him out of something so important.  We are a three, a trio, a triumvirate.  Everything we do should be as such.  Pon Farr included.  You won’t kill him and you won’t hurt me.  I would like to know more about my role as your mate in this and we can all go into it properly informed.  I love you, Spock.  Anything that bothers you will bother me and Jim.  Don’t shut us out.”

Spock sighed.  “I will make an effort not to.” He finished his meal and looked at their linked hands.  “This is embarrassing for me, for any Vulcan.  We do not speak of such things.”

Kirk grabbed his other hand, locking fingers with him.  “I told you, Spock, that once you’ve seen somebody naked, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about anything you have to tell them.  I care about what happens to you and I’ll do what I can to help you.  But I will not leave Nyota alone with you while you go through Pon Farr.  Forget about that.  We’ll deal with it when the time comes.  You’ll let us know when that is, right?”

Spock nodded.  “Affirmative.  Please, let us change the subject.”

Uhura looked at her soup bowl.  “You ate all of my soup, Jim!  I thought you weren’t hungry.”

“I guess I was.  That was quite tasty.  What was in that, Spock?”

“You would call it a roasted red pepper soup.”

“I wish I could have had some of it,” Uhura said, rolling her eyes at Kirk.

Kirk leaned over and kissed her cheek.  “I’ll get you some more.”  He got up.

Spock stood up.  “I will go and have a shower while you eat, Nyota.  Did you receive your injection?”

Uhura presented her arm and pointed at the tiny bruise.  “As ordered, Commander.”

He nodded and went into Kirk’s bedroom.  Kirk sat back down with a fresh bowl of soup and more French bread.

“Come sit in my lap,” he said.

She did so as she tore the bread into chunks.  He adjusted to take her weight and hung one hand limply between her thighs as she took turns eating and feeding him.

“I know you’re tired, Jim.  You were up late last night chauffeuring the party.  I know it was crazy.”

“It was hilarious. Keenser threw out his back trying to limbo, Chekov led a drunken conga line and the ladies from the science department won a dance contest against the ladies from Social Sciences.  I’m certain that Scotty didn’t sleep alone last night and there was a fight over Sulu.  I just watched and let them have their fun.  We won’t have another social anytime soon.”

She nodded, licking her fingers.  He took her hand and sucked the tips of them.  “But I’m not that tired, Nyota.”

“Good,” she said.

*

When Spock exited the shower, they were waiting for him.  He stood and stared at them for a long moment, the expression on his face not matching the feeling in his heart.  Together they were magnificent music, lyrical lines of poetry.  Uhura got up and went over to kiss Spock’s lips and led him to the bed.  Not by the hand.

It was different this time.  They were learning each other, discovering new things.  As always, she was their center, bridging them, bringing them together.  Uhura was waiting for her lovers to realize that they were a true threesome, and it seemed that tonight the door had been opened just a crack.  She watched intently as they touched each other.  It was hesitant; just fingers to faces, arms, heads and chests, nothing more than that.  At least not tonight.  It was obviously a new thing and to her eyes, it was a beautiful thing.  After everything that took place between the three of them, after they laid their careers on the line for their relationship, she wondered why they were so shy. They were tentative in their explorations, as if it was wrong or that she wouldn’t like it.  Perhaps the Pon Farr conversation sparked something deep within Kirk and within Spock.  Maybe it took something of that magnitude for them to finally realize that they were a real triad; that this love affair was more than just all about her.  Uhura wasn’t that selfish.